Thursday, January 12, 2006

Ted Kennedy Hearings

Thinking about the previous post and having a drink in my hand (OK, on the table beside me...) can lead to some dangerous thoughts. What if our favorite Liberal Democrat was on the receiving end of the questions? Could you imagine what Teddy Kennedy would be asked if he was in Judge Alito's position? Here's my take on it:

"Thank you, Mr. Kennedy, for appearing before this inquisition, er, panel to answer questions pertaining to your suitability for sitting on the Supreme Court. As you have already been sworn in, please answer the following questions on your ethical ability & views truthfully and to the best of your ability:

  1. Who was Mary Jo Kopechne?
  2. Were you married at the time you knew Mary Jo Kopechne?
  3. Did you have sexual relations with her as defined either by popular convention or by the Bill Clinton definition?
  4. What happened that night in Chapaquitic?
  5. Were you drinking that night?
  6. Were you drunk?
  7. Why were you driving?
  8. Why did you leave that girl to die in a sinking car?
  9. Why should you not be in a prison for drunken driving & vehicular manslaughter?
  10. Have you ever been under the influence while in a Senate committee or on the Senate floor?
  11. For the record, how many times have you been married?
  12. For the record, have you ever lied, or knowingly stretched the truth in your testimony today or in hearings before any other committee?
  13. Do you have an agenda? If so, what is it?
Thank you, Mr. Kennedy, for invoking your 5th Admendment rights. Please do not call us, we will call you. Please take care in leaving this chamber and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."

11 comments:

Pamela Reece said...

LMAO!!!! I think you should be on the judiciary panel!!

Mark said...

LOL! Here's what i would want to ask him:

Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Communist party?

How much money did you pay Mary Jo's family to request no autopsy?

How many other women have you murdered to cover up some indiscretion?

Do you have ANY morals at all?

What kind of animal are you?

Those are a few of the questions I'd like to ask Uncle Teddy. There are more. Much more.

Mark said...

Oh here's another "point to ponder" for your sidebar:

I may not understand what you say, but I'll defend with your death my right to deny it.

yankeemom said...

Applause! Applause!! Well said!

Tom said...

Thank you one & all! Evidently, I'm not alone in my feelings on Ted Kennedy and his continuing bad behavior.

Really, I just don't see what the people of Massachusets see in the dynamic duo of Kennedy and Kerry. Both of them lie like rugs, and have no moral fortitude. But that's politics!!

Concerned Patriot said...

Dude ... great post. Ted Kennedy ... where would the democrats be without him? LOL! LMAO! Dude ... This is a great post ... you took the words right out of my mind.
-APV

Pamela Reece said...

You are welcome, Tom!

Joe Hagarty said...

More to the point all, what would the comedians, the republicans, and Massachusetts do without Ted Kennedy? Tom Thanks again for your great blog.

John Ristaino said...

And what again is the differnce between Chapaquitic and what Dick Cheney just did? I'm a little confused.

John

Tom said...

John - Let's see what obvious differences there are:

1) Somebody died...
2) Help was immediately obtained...
3) Teddy was cheating on his wife (secret!!), Cheney was hunting (public knowledge)...

Need I go on?

Corwin Samples said...

This is a great blog. I have to agree with all of your assessments. The Cheney incident has been blown way out of proportion. And I cannot stand Ted Kennedy, or any of the Kennedy's for that matter. It’s a family who made their fortune through bootlegging and mob dealings. Old JFK and Bobby abused their power while in the White House. For instance, illegal eaves dropping on Martin Luther King Jr. And what about Al Gore. He travels to Saudi Arabia and trashes our country, claiming the government is mistreating Muslims. And Jimmy Carter, someone shot him please. The major democrats in my opinion are nothing but traitors.