Tale of the Trids

Haven't done one of these for a while, and considering that I just went through workplace violence prevention training today, perhaps it's time to purge some of these non-conformist thoughts...

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On an island in the South Pacific, there lived a tribe of natives called the Trids.  They are a peaceful people, although, well, vertically challenged.  But their island had everything that they could want or need.  It was Paradise....except for the giant.

The giant lived on a mountain on one end of the island.  Every now & then, usually once every couple of months, the giant would come down from the mountain into the village of the Trids and kick them around.  No deaths, no broken bones, just lots of bruises.  Only the very young and the very old were spared the wrath of the giant.

One day, a cargo ship was passing by the island, and stopped for supplies.  On the ship was a Rabbi looking for a place to live for a while.  He saw the island as a sanctuary, a place to relax while he sorted out the problems of life in general.  The Trids welcomed the Rabbi as their guest, but they did warn him about the giant.  He promised that he would do his best to help save them from the giant.

The cargo ship sailed away with the captain promising to return for the Rabbi in four months.  And for about six weeks, everything was as if the Rabbi was in the Garden of Eden.  Then the giant came down off his mountain.

The Trids heard the giant, and ran screaming through the village for everyone to run and hide.  The Rabbi heard this commotion, and went to the front of the village to confront the giant.

And he saw the giant coming down the path from the mountain.  And he was huge!!  The Rabbi's confidence was fading with every step the giant took toward the village.  Finally, the giant reached the village and stopped in front of the Rabbi. 

The giant looked down on the Rabbi and started to chuckle a low, rumbling, bemused type of chuckle.  With every passing second, the Rabbi's knees began to shake.  The giant saw this, and chuckled louder.

Finally, the Rabbi couldn't take it anymore.  He looked up at the giant and shouted, "You're not going to kick the Trids around unless you start with me first!!  Well, get on with it!!  Start kicking!!"

The giant let out the loudest chuckling laugh ever heard, shaking the very ground and echoing through the land.  The giant leaned down and looked the Rabbi in the eye.  The Rabbi thought he was a goner as the giant fixed him with a penetrating gaze with his yellow eyes.

Still chuckling, the giant said, "Silly Rabbi.  Kicks are for Trids..."